Poem by Bukowski

I discovered the poet Charles Bukowski a few years ago in a used bookstore in Brooklyn, NY.  I love used bookstores, for me it's like panning for gold.  I've never panned for gold but I'm quite certain the experience would feel the same.   Anyway, I had staked a claim and was in the process of digging through the finds when I spotted a book by a guy by the name of Charles Bukowski titled "Sifting Through the Madness for the Word, the Line, the Way" I thought hmmm... this one might be a nugget worth saving.   My hunch was right, it turned out to be gold!   He can be somewhat course and crude but he's always brutally honest.   He doesn't "sugar coat" life.   He says it like it is.


nobody but you

nobody can save you but
yourself.
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
force
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly
inside.

nobody can save you but
yourself
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don't, don't, don't.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
being?
do you want to experience
death before death?

nobody can save you but
yourself
and you're worth saving.
it's a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.

think about it.
think about saving your self.
your spiritual self.
your singing magical self and
your beautiful self.
save it.
don't join the dead-in-spirit.

maintain your self
with humor and grace
and finally
if necessary
wager your life as you struggle,
damn the odds, damn the price.

only you can save your
self.

do it! do it!

then you'll know exactly what
I am talking about.

-Charles Bukowski

CORN

I was playing around on the computer the other day and came up with a corn design.   For awhile now I've been interested in the language of computers, especially the "picture" language of symbols, emoticons, and computer acronyms.    The characters remind me of the ancient Aztec language, they too used a "picture" language.    The Aztecs developed a system of pictures that they used as their alphabet.  They had hundreds of different picture symbols.   They would then join these symbols together into sentences.   I think the language of symbols/emoticons  is really interesting and something that seems like it would have a lot of potential for exploration.    I can see combining the new language with traditional or even ephemeral materials and doing so with ancient techniques or it could also be interesting doing it with very modern computer driven techniques (laser, CAM, etc. ) I think it could potentially be approached both ways and be successful.  We'll see!   

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mice migration

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a summer past but not forgotten

a few pics

Dreamer

This is a ceramic piece that i made a few years ago.   Looking back, it was a lot of work but it was worth it.   Each wishbone was hand carved from a solid block of clay that I had pounded into a mold.   I remember enjoying the process of packing the clay into the molds, letting them dry a few days and then using a steak knife and a potato peeler to shave away slivers of moist clay until all that was left was a wishbone.   Carving and handling the moist clay really allowed me to feel connected to the material, it was a very rewarding experience.   I felt the same way when I was carving stone and wood.    

I included this sculpture in my BFA show but because of space limitations it was hung against a wall which was not the ideal place for this piece.   Because of it's height and location, it wasn't possible to get a good picture of it during the show.   Outdoors was where I originally envisioned this piece.    I wanted it to look as though it were an endless ladder reaching up into the sky... an invitation to explore, to search, to look for answers; I wanted the unbelievable, if only for a second, to be believable.   Once again, like my cannon piece, this sculpture became a "prop" to tell a story.   It became an installation rather then an "object".   The picture and the location tells more then the ladder could ever do by itself hanging in a gallery.   I think in a way I'm drawn to the childlike "realness" of this... if that makes sense.   As a kid, like most kids, I dreamed of "digging a hole to China" or "if i ran fast enough I could fly" and "if I built a ladder tall enough I could reach the stars".   It's that childlike "faith" that I'm interested in.   When we are kids we believe with all our hearts that the world is full of magic, that anything is possible if we simply believe it is.   We believe this until we learn or we're told otherwise.   As we get older and supposedly "wiser" we discover the "man behind the curtain", "the real truth", clouds are just clouds, stars are just stars and places we were told existed really don't exist.  But one can still dream... right?!

Awesome little cast resin random metal doo-dad thingies!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you have to make a choice "should I buy this giant pile of widgets even though I have no idea what i'm going to do with them but they're so damn cool that it would be a crime not to buy them!?" of course you have!  Good I feel better now.   I found these little fellas hiding in a grungy green milk crate beneath an old work bench at the junk store the other day.   I was awestruck as soon as I saw them... my mind suddenly racing with ideas for future usage! (cabinet door knobs, table tops, lamp pulls, paper weights and so on).    The tag on the crate didn't help much, all it said was "sales samples".    When I got them home and started looking at them closer,  there's probably 300 of them (blue, brownish maroon, black and clear), I realized what they were...I think.    This is just a theory, based on the available evidence; it looks like they came from a material research lab of some sort.   All the little pieces incased in the resin are defects from industrial metal parts.   I think what happens is a manufacturer sends defect parts, etc, to this research lab and then they grind the piece smooth on one side and then pour resin over it incasing it in a resin block.  Then they probably place it under a microscope of some sort so they can study the metal to see what went wrong.   I'm thinking it's some sort of industrial material Forensic lab for small manufactured metal parts.   I suppose they find out what made it fail, what "killed" it!   On the back of each resin "core" there are "LAB ID" numbers and "notes" etched into them.    Some of them say "FAIL" or "GOOD" and a few even say "SPECIAL INVESTIGATION" which of course leads me to believe the FBI must have been involved.    I imagine they were TOP SECRET evidence from a ghastly industrial factory incident.    A small part in a big noisy machine decides one day he can't take the pressure any longer and snaps, sending an explosion of machine guts piercing through the air, maiming and killing anyone in the vicinity... these things happen!  I guess now it's my responsibility to give these little trouble makers a brighter future.  I'm sure it will take a lot of late night brain storming, decision making and lots of coffee but I'm up for the challenge!

new work

Ingredients: TP and Nylon ratchet strap

"Old Woman WIth Pink Hat"

This is a piece that I've been thinking about for awhile now.  I found the walking cane at... you guessed it! The Maumee Antique Store.  It was $6 so I figured I wasn't out much if it didn't work.   This is just a preliminary photo shoot but I'm happy with the way it turned out.   I'm not sure about the brick wall,  I'll have to think about that some more.   I'm digging the milk jug!   In the right light I can see it having an almost marble like quality too it.   This piece is quite a departure from my work at BGSU.  My work there was very traditional; I worked mostly with wood, bronze, clay, glass and cast iron.   In the two years I've been out of school,  I've found myself more and more attracted to, and heading towards, a more conceptual/ installation type of work.   I still see myself working with traditional materials but maybe not quite as much. 

ABUSED but REUSED: the story of three industrial seed pods rescued from a life of abuse and neglect

As far as I'm concerned,  there's not a better time to be had than spending a couple of hours at a junk yard with friends.   If you're lucky you may even walk away with some treasures tucked under your arm!   Awhile back, my friends, Sayaka and Momoko, asked me if I would like to join them on a trip to a little junk yard a few miles south of Bowling Green.  Of course I said YES, how could I pass up an offer to visit a new junk yard!  At first it wasn't much different than most of the junk yards I had been too, the old saying "if you've seen one you've seen them all" came to mind.   That is until I came across these neglected little gems strewn across the cold wet ground.   It was love at first sight, who knew junk could be so beautiful!  In this case, one man's trash was my treasure. 
The man at the junk yard informed us that they were grinders used for grinding rock and dirt.   When the little "finger nubs" wore down, or fell out, the heads were replaced with new ones.  He said we could have them for free if we wanted them, who was I to argue!  I quickly gathered them up in my arms and off we went.   It's amazing, and ironic actually, how organic and seed poddish they look seeing as how they were used to grind and crush rocks and plants and dare I say maybe even a stray seed pod unfortunate enough to have landed in their path.  Anyway, on the way home I mentioned how cool they would look if I placed marbles in the empty holes where the "nubs" had fallen out.   When I got home that's exactly what i did and sure enough they did look cool!                        

My pennies have a new home!

Yet another reason the Maumee Antique Store ROCKS!   How could anyone pass up this AWESOME "Henny Penny Bank"?!  I don't collect banks or even own one actually,  well not until now anyway;  but I just couldn't pass this one up!  It has a great folk art feel to it; I love the simplicity of it.   It's basically an upside down bowl form with a "pinched" piece of clay for the comb and a little beak and two little holes drilled in it for eyes.   I bet my friend Jess Benjamin will be jealous; she's a great ceramic artist out in Omaha, Nebraska.   Eat your heart out Jess!!  Now I don't have a choice, I'll have to save my pennies, see I knew there was a reason I bought this!

foundry molds

This past Sunday I decided to go hunting at one of my favorite places,  the Maumee Antique Store.  I was in search of  Unique Objects of Interest (UOI's for short) It turned out to be a very good hunting day indeed!  Check out these COOL antique wooden foundry molds!!  They're like little modernist works of art.   Best of all they were dirt cheap, I don't think the owner realized how much they were worth.  I did some checking around; I got a very good deal! The biggest one was only $10 and the others ranged between $4 and $6!  The big one is a hat mold used to form and shape hats.  The red and black engine block looking one was probably used as a mold for sand casting.   I'm not sure about the smaller red and black one.   The two narrow ones are a pair, male and female, they nest up against each other;  they look like molds of some sort for an old desk drawer handle.  I love all the markings on them,  it shows they were used.   My favorite, out of all of them, is the small rectangular box mold.  It has such a rich brown patina and an ancient hand carved feel to it.   I threw in some wishbones I had lying around (believe it or not I do have wishbones lying around...hmmm imagine that)  the contrast of the white bones against the rich brown luster of the wood told me they were meant for each other.     It was a very successful hunt, I bagged some great trophies and I even found some cool art books to boot,  what more could I have asked for?!!

Art at the bottom of my bowl

YOU CAN DO IT TOO! all you need is a cereal bowl, any color will do,  preferably a darker color so you can see it; some yogurt, and a spoon.  First you add the yogurt to the bowl,  I like to add grapes to mine but plain yogurt will do just fine; than you proceed to eat the yogurt until there's nothing left except swirled spoon trails of yogurt residue.  There you have it, your very own yogurt painting!!   Good Luck!

Me, Myself and I

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and had a stare down with yourself?  I mean some serious staring, you have to really look into your eyes.  After a while of doing this you begin to feel yourself pulling away from the person in the mirror,  you even begin to question who that person is staring back at you, it can be sort of disconcerting.   If you haven't tried it you really must!  I decided to take it a step further and add another mirror.    Now when I look at this picture I feel like a voyeur watching me locked in a three way stare down with myself.  

agrarian cathedral

Old barns are great story tellers, they have the power to transport you to another time and place if you take the time to listen.   The stories this barn could tell would surely win the pulitzer prize for literature!   As soon as I squeezed through the giant doors and stepped inside I knew I was in the presence of greatness.   It was the same powerful feeling I felt the first time I entered the Duomo in Florence, Italy.   This Cathedral is a little closer to home, near Bloomsburg, PA at the home of my friends Greg and Meg Mueller.

morning on the maumee

My friend Sayaka was visiting for the weekend so we decided to take our morning coffee with us and walk a block from my apartment down to the beautiful Maumee River.  The water was silky smooth, the air was crisp, the seagulls were singing and all around us tiny fish were jumping.   It was the perfect early morning coffee sipping with a friend moment.    

farm art 2

summer storm coming

I took these photo's from my car on the road to my parents farm.   The clouds look beautifully menacing don't they?!

Stewed Poem

It's always fun to find something that you did in the past and than look at it with fresh eyes. That being said... I was doing some "cleaning" on my computer, transferring old files and pictures to my new computer, when I came across an old poem that I had written in school.   After reading through it a couple of times, I made some changes.   I moved a few words, threw out some words and then added some words.   Sometimes it's good to let things stew for awhile and then dip your finger in and sample it and maybe add some more ingredients until the taste is just right.   Right now I think this poem is ready to serve.   I hope you enjoy it!

PICK-a-POEM

Should I make it sing in rhythmic time

or keep it simple with a playful rhyme?

Maybe It should flow clear and clean

or slow........ with pauses in-between;

should I aim to please or to ignite?

No--- I don't want to start a fight

I could expatiate with my nose in the air

or would that be too arrogant and unfair?

I suppose it could be witty, or even funny,

or for that matter sad or sunny

Then there are meter's and stanza's and iambic pentameters

all fighting to fit within its perimeter's

I'm beginning to feel like my head is full of birds

flying around, each one a different word

If I had it my way, poems would grow on trees

and I would simply pluck one off as i please.

Sneak Peek

This is a new piece I'm working on. I have it hanging on my bedroom wall at the moment. It's only a partial piece so far, when it's finished there will be many more racks. So far I like the look of it, I'm loving the shadows! It's working conceptually and aesthetically for me. Of course I'll ANALize it some more just to make sure but I'm digging it so far! If you're wondering what the hell it's made of, the red rack is a commercial retail hook rack... you know the kind you see with cheap crap hanging from them. The little yellow "tags" are livestock ear tags used to keep track of livestock. They're basically animal ear rings. I'll post the final pics when it's finished.